Should children share a bedroom? Pros and Cons

December 13, 2022

Short Version – Should children share a bedroom?

Sharing a bedroom can be a good option if your children are close in age. It’s also great if you have limited space, and it’s cheaper to heat and furnish one room than two. As they get older, they are less likely to want to do so and will prefer some privacy.
Kids sharing a bedroom

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Long Version

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of whether children should share a bedroom. On a personal note, my children were more than happy to share a bedroom together. It was all weekend midnight feasts and playing until they got older! There are pros and cons to consider when deciding whether to have your children share a bedroom or not. Let’s take a deeper look.

Benefits of siblings sharing a bedroom:

  • Can foster a sense of closeness and bond among siblings.
  • Can be a practical solution for families with limited space or financial resources.
  • Comfort for children at night.

Bonding

On one hand, having siblings share a room can help foster a sense of closeness and an easy bond between them.

Growing up together in the same room can provide opportunities for siblings to interact, play, and support each other, which can foster a sense of emotional connection and bond.

This can be especially beneficial for children who are close in age, as they can grow up experiencing the same milestones and challenges together. For some children, it’s also comforting to have a sibling close-by in the night.

Kids playing together

Finances and house size

Sharing a bedroom can also be a practical solution for families with limited space or financial resources. With more and more families living in urban areas with small apartments, it can be difficult to provide each child with their own separate bedroom.

Sharing a room can help parents make the most of the available space, allowing them to allocate more resources to other areas of the home or to other expenses.

It is also more cost-effective to heat only one room during these times when utility bills are skyrocketing. Siblings having to share one room doesn’t have to feel cramped either; bunk beds are a budget-friendly and super popular option for kids sharing a bedroom. They allow you to maximise your floor space while giving each child their own bed.

Drawbacks of siblings sharing a bedroom:

  • Children sharing a room can lead to conflicts and arguments.
  • Can impact the quality of sleep for siblings.
  • Can disrupt privacy and personal space, especially for children going through puberty.

The age gap

In some cases, the age gap between siblings can be a relevant factor when deciding whether to have them share a bedroom. For instance, a larger age gap may make it more difficult for the children to relate to each other and may lead to conflicts over personal space and routines. 

A toddler’s needs will be totally different from those of a teenager. A toddler will need early nights and space to play, while a teenager will need some quiet space for homework and will, in general, want more privacy and the freedom to watch TV or listen to music later in the night. In general, a teenager will usually be far more reluctant to share a space with a younger brother or sister. So that’s one situation you might want to avoid!

teenager in a bedroom

Puberty

Sharing a bedroom can be especially difficult for children who are going through puberty, A self-conscious teenager may be worried about their changing body and will be more sensitive to issues of privacy and personal space. 

Boys and girls sharing

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While there appears to be no definitive research on what age to separate two siblings of the opposite sex, some parents may prefer to separate their boys and girls into different bedrooms as each child enters adolescence. This can be especially important for families with young teenagers entering puberty.

Both girls and boys will develop differently, so be aware they may feel more comfortable with a separate bedroom at some point. (I’m sure they will let you know!)

Overall, while nothing is set in stone, it is essential for parents to consider the individual needs and preferences of each child. Parents should make accommodations and adjustments as needed to ensure that everyone is comfortable and has the space and privacy they need.

What does the UK law say about sharing a bedroom?

In the UK, if you are a homeowner or privately renting, the law doesn’t set an age limit for when siblings should stop sharing a bedroom.

At what age should siblings stop sharing a room

As previously mentioned, there is no law; however, they do recommend that children over the age of 10 not share a bedroom, but ultimately that will depend on your own personal set of circumstances.

Local Authority (council rules on bedroom sharing)

The rules here are stricter. There is legislation in place. It states that 2 children of the opposite sex over the age of 10 should not share a bedroom as it can be deemed overcrowding. It is worth noting that living rooms, dining rooms, and study rooms all count as rooms you can sleep in.

England.shelter.org gives this as an example, among others…

Example

A couple with two boys and a girl, all aged under 10, living in a 1 bedroom flat with a living room would not count as overcrowded.

“Check if Your Home Is Overcrowded by Law – Shelter England.” Shelter England, england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/repairs/check_if_your_home_is_overcrowded_by_law. Accessed 13 Dec. 2022.

I have left links below that contain detailed advice for England, Scotland, Wales, and Nothern Island. They are well worth a read if you live in social housing or are applying to do so.

Tips – How we as parents can make it easier

There are several steps that parents can take to make it easier for siblings to share a bedroom. Some of these include:

  • Try to use the space you have wisely. Involving the children in the process of setting up the room: Parents can involve their children in the process of deciding how to arrange the furniture, decorate the room, and divide the space. This can help the children feel more invested in the shared space and can also encourage them to come up with creative solutions for making the most of the space.
  • Providing separate storage and organizational solutions: It can be helpful for parents to provide each child with their own storage solutions, such as separate shelves, drawers, or bins, to keep their belongings organized. This can help prevent conflicts over personal belongings and can also make it easier for each child to find what they need.
  • If the children are sharing bunk beds, you can provide privacy curtains or other dividers to help them feel more comfortable and less exposed.
  • Establishing clear rules and boundaries: Parents can help siblings share a bedroom more easily by establishing clear rules and boundaries. This can include things like setting bedtimes, noise levels, and expectations for cleanliness and tidiness. Providing clear guidelines can help siblings understand what is expected of them and can prevent conflicts and misunderstandings.
  • Providing opportunities for individual time and privacy: Sharing a bedroom can be challenging, especially for children who are going through puberty. To make it easier, parents can provide opportunities for individual time and privacy, such as allowing each child to have their own personal space within the shared room or providing separate rooms or spaces for quiet time and relaxation.
  • Encouraging open communication and problem-solving: Finally, parents can encourage their children to communicate openly and to work together to solve any conflicts or problems that may arise. By teaching children healthy communication and problem-solving skills, parents can help them navigate the challenges of sharing a bedroom and foster a stronger relationship with each other.

Conclusion

Whether or not children should share a bedroom is ultimately up to the parent’s discretion. Before making this decision, parents should take into consideration the pros and cons of having two children in one room. Age and gender are important factors to consider. Ultimately, parents should make sure that everyone is comfortable with the living arrangement. By providing clear rules and guidelines, separate storage solutions, and opportunities for individual time and privacy, parents can help their children share a bedroom in a safe and healthy way.

References

https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/repairs/check_if_your_home_is_overcrowded_by_law

https://scotland.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/repairs/overcrowding

https://sheltercymru.org.uk/housing-advice/repairs-and-bad-conditions/overcrowding/

https://www.housingadviceni.org/rights-housing-association-tenants

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1985/68/section/325

https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/does-the-law-set-an-age-at-which-children-cant-share-a-bedroom/

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/in-the-home/sharing-a-bedroom/

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